São Paulo Guy Picture Tour

São Paulo has the largest guy population of any major city in the world. It is one of the most ethnically diverse cities in the world, and the diversity of its guys is commensurate with the diversity of its entire populace. The following are three species of guy indigenous to the city:

The Neon-wifebeater-wearing Jogger, or Torpeus Zompabollous
These guys are friendly and are willing to give tourists directions while they jog in place. On the NIWTF (no-idea-what-the-fuck) scale they fall between the Namibian wearing an Edmonton Oilers t-shirt and the Kenyan country-western music fan.

Torpeus Zompabollous, during mating season.

The Walking Advertisement Cyclist, or Deadpanus Vacuous
These mouth-breathing college students can be seen riding around the city with hats, backpacks, and spandex shirts issued by local companies to drum up business. The Deadpanus Vacuous pictured here is wearing the apparel of Yamarillo, a Japanese gold pocket watch company.

The St. Paul Cro Magnon, or Sternus Unawaretus
The proudest but also the most confused species of guy in the city. High enough on the NIWTF scale to be considered a danger to themselves or others, city officials passed legislation that requires all Sternus Unawaretii to have a question mark chest tattoo, which is to be visibly displayed at all times.